Showing posts with label My Funny Masala. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Funny Masala. Show all posts
Monday, January 11, 2010
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Who wants to go to Indian Hell..
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?”
He was told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on and checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more countries... He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell...
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, What do they do here?"
He was told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour..Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes and beats you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells---so why are so many people waiting to get in here?" asked the man.
Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the Indian devil is a former Govt. servant, so he comes in and signs the register and then goes to the canteen!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Smile a while!!
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
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------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win
in 8 overs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
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Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
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Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
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Whats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
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So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from
a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!
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Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of
crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel
to the crocodiles.
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------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of
eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby
clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
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Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will
you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win
in 8 overs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Whats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from
a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of
crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel
to the crocodiles.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of
eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby
clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will
you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Ultimate!!!?
Hahahhaah.. Nice one.. As we are in Recession... we need our family support for sure to continue the enjoyment in our life.....!!!
Monday, April 13, 2009
AP Political awards 2009 - Nice one
========================================================
Nice Chain mail forward .... Here you go :-) :-) :-)
Nice Chain mail forward .... Here you go :-) :-) :-)
AP-Political Awards 2009 by TV9.
Debut Awards.
Best Political Debut in 2009 – (Chiranjeevi)
Best Political Party Debut in 2009 – ( PRP )
Best Political speech in 2009 - ( Balakrishna ) - Yuva garjana .
Aggressive Debut attack in 2009 – (Pavan Kalyan) -Against ysr, shabbir, jaipal and DS.
Comedy Awards.
Best Political joke of the year – Party 2009 ( PRP – We will get 292 seats ).
Best political jump of the year – Male 2009 ( Krishnam Raju ).
Best Political JUMP-JILANI – Party 2009 ( PRP ).
Political Bakra of the year – Male 2009 ( Devender Goud ).
Best Covert of the year - Male 2009 ( Kesineni Nani ).
Best Comic party of the year – Party 2009 ( Praja shanty – KA Paul ).
Best Playback political Singer of the year - Male 2009 ( Pavan kalyan ).
Political Buffon of the year – Male 2009 ( Lagadapati Rajgopal ).
Best comedy challenge of the Year 2009 ( KA PAUL – any centre , chithu chithu ga )
Decent and Worst Awards.
Decent politician of the year - Male 2009 ( Chiru and Murali Mohan).
Decent politician of the year - Female 2009 ( Jaya sudha ).
Worst politician of the year - Male 2009 ( Posani Krishna Murali ).
Worst politician of the year - Female 2009 ( Sobha Rani ).
Political factionist of the year – Male 2009 ( YSR ).
Most corrupted politician of the year – 2009 ( YSR & Jagan ).
Cunning step of the year – 2009 (
Party Awards.
Best Political SABHA of the year – Party 2009 ( Yuva garjana )
Best party in a Supporting - Party 2009 (CPM).
Party symbol (Suspense) in 2009 - PRP ( Railu Engine )
Most effective Party of the year – Party 2009 (TRS).
Most loosing party of the year – Party 2009 ( Congress )
Most Aggressive constituency of the year –
Sure shot Constituency win of the year – (Palkol).
Sure shot loosing party of the year – (Congress).
Best come back of the Year - Party 2009 (
Best Manifesto of the Year – Party 2009 ( Loksatta ).
Best Party of the Year – Party 2009 ( Loksatta ).
Best of Best Year and Decade.
Political Tsunami Debut of the Decade - ( Young Tiger - Junior NTR ).
Best Political Comedian of the Decade – Male (KA Paul ).
Best corrupted politician of the Decade – (Allu Aravind).
Best party for the public of the Decade – ( Loksatta ).
Best Politician of the Decade – Male ( JP Narayan ).
Super politician (Apara chanukyudu) of the Year- 2009 & Decade ( Chandra Babu Naidu).
Notes : Kamal Hasan is agood actor than rajini kanth But Rajini kanth is super Star. Similarly ------
Friday, February 20, 2009
Simply SIDHU - Awesome Commentary
***********************************************************************************
Cricket is one of my Favourite Sports. Especially matches which i most watch India vs Pakistan because every team member in India plays with sprit, confidence especially with Pakistan..! I love the commentary from Ravi Shastri, Harsha Bhogle, Sidhu,Richie Benaud, Geoffrey Boycott and Tony greg.
Here are a collection of famous quotes(made during his commentary of the cricket matches) by Navjot Singh Sidhu (Also regular commenter in "Great India Laughter Challenge" Program), He became famous for his funny quotes, which have come to be known as Sidhuisms.
1. That ball went so high it could have got an
airhostess down with it.
2. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India,
but it's that of an incoming train which will run them
over.
3. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when
you are bald.
5. Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian
taximeter.
7. Wickets are like wives - you never know which way
they will turn!
8. He is like Indian three-wheeler, which will suck a
lot of petrol but cannot go beyond 30!
9. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me
tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in
the whole world, which does not have wings!
10. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
11. The ball whizzes past like a bumblebee and the
Indians are in the sea.
12. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a
haystack.
13. The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
14. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a
topless bar!
15. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the
cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala..! One
falls and everything else falls!
16. Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss
without a Squeeze.
17. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
18. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a
goalkeeper. He must be given a free transfer to
Manchester United.
19. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first
two bites too.
20. One, who doesn't throw the dice, can never expect
to score a six.
22. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
23. Nobody travels on the road to success without a
puncture or two.
24. You got to choose between tightening your belt or
losing your pants.
25. The cat with gloves catches no mice.
26. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming
youth.
27. You may have a heart of gold, but so does! A
hard-boiled egg.
28. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking
competition.
29. The third umpires should be changed as often as
nappies and for the same reason.
30. The world is all about mind and matter, I don't
mind and U don't matter...
31. In London they drive on the left, in India we
drive on what is left!
Howzzzzaaattttttt!!!!!
***********************************************************************************
Cricket is one of my Favourite Sports. Especially matches which i most watch India vs Pakistan because every team member in India plays with sprit, confidence especially with Pakistan..! I love the commentary from Ravi Shastri, Harsha Bhogle, Sidhu,Richie Benaud, Geoffrey Boycott and Tony greg.
Here are a collection of famous quotes(made during his commentary of the cricket matches) by Navjot Singh Sidhu (Also regular commenter in "Great India Laughter Challenge" Program), He became famous for his funny quotes, which have come to be known as Sidhuisms.
1. That ball went so high it could have got an
airhostess down with it.
2. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India,
but it's that of an incoming train which will run them
over.
3. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when
you are bald.
5. Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian
taximeter.
7. Wickets are like wives - you never know which way
they will turn!
8. He is like Indian three-wheeler, which will suck a
lot of petrol but cannot go beyond 30!
9. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me
tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in
the whole world, which does not have wings!
10. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
11. The ball whizzes past like a bumblebee and the
Indians are in the sea.
12. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a
haystack.
13. The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
14. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a
topless bar!
15. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the
cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala..! One
falls and everything else falls!
16. Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss
without a Squeeze.
17. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
18. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a
goalkeeper. He must be given a free transfer to
Manchester United.
19. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first
two bites too.
20. One, who doesn't throw the dice, can never expect
to score a six.
22. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
23. Nobody travels on the road to success without a
puncture or two.
24. You got to choose between tightening your belt or
losing your pants.
25. The cat with gloves catches no mice.
26. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming
youth.
27. You may have a heart of gold, but so does! A
hard-boiled egg.
28. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking
competition.
29. The third umpires should be changed as often as
nappies and for the same reason.
30. The world is all about mind and matter, I don't
mind and U don't matter...
31. In London they drive on the left, in India we
drive on what is left!
Howzzzzaaattttttt!!!!!
***********************************************************************************
Friday, February 13, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Easy way to Kill an Ant !!!
========================================================
My Friend Mr.Jogi Raz has discovered just now how to Kill the Ant. Here you go....!!!
Easy way to Kill an Ant:-
Mix chilli powder with sugar and give it..
After eating that it will search for water.
The Ant will go in search of water somewhere near water tank...
When the Ant goes near the tank, Push the ant into it..
Now the Ant who's fully soaked in water will go to dry himself near Fire...
When he reaches near fire, Put a Bomb into the Fire..
Then You Admit the wounded ant in ICU.
Remove the Oxygen Mask from his Mouth and Kill it!!!=======================================================
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